Ya know, just when a person starts thinking that this country can't slip even further into ridiculousness, a story like this one comes into the light. One of those, "WTF-jaw dropping-head shaking" moments. And now that I think about it, it makes me a bit angry.
Call me fortunate, but based on today's standards when it comes to "protecting our children", my parents did a great job. Meaning I am literate, I stayed in school, I didn't get a 14 year old pregnant, I never joined a gang, I actually love my parents, and I never turned into a huge festering blob of human weight. So like I said, by today's standards, my parents did a bang-up job. And guess what? They weren't up my ass 24/7 to do so either. Apparently they understood the concept of, "sometimes your child needs to go through fucked up things to learn the best lessons in life."
So, in case you haven't read the article I linked to at the beginning, this rant is aimed at the politicians in the "greater area" of San Francisco. I use "greater area" loosely here. Get this, apparently some piece of legislature passed that is basically making it so fast food places such as McDonalds (the chain under fire for this at the moment) are NO LONGER able to package a toy with their Happy Meals. You heard me, no fucking toy. Apparently the toys are making our kids fat. Interesting eh? Has nothing to do with lazy fuckin parents feeding their children junk food while their ungrateful brats sit on their chubby asses and play with their Ipods and texting contraptions. It's all about the 50 cent toy you get with each meal. Who knew that such a small toy could cause this huge obese epidemic in America. Mystery solved, eh?
They say that these toys are making children crave poor food. And I can see that to an extent. I remember seeing the commercials as a kid and saying "Hey Mom, can we go to McDonalds? There's a sweet new exclusive Hot-Wheel this week only!" And about 70% of the time my mom said, "No, too much junk isn't good for you." The other 30%, well I'd get my fucking Hot-Wheel, play with it for a few days and then lose it forever in my large toy chest. What a concept huh? A parent who knows when to say no to junk food? Cause judging by the media, parents like that don't exist any more. Parents don't know how to do the job right apparently, so good ole government steps in to save the day. Well awesome, thanks for teaching us common sense Mr. Politicians. Your wisdom and maturity amaze us on a constant basis and you really are the smartest peo... ya know what, i can't even get through that with a straight face. I tried, I really did.
Here's an observation. I'm now 34. I love fast food. I really do. Greasy fries and a gutburger makes me smile. I'm ok with it. I also love toys. Who doesn't (well besides the government apparently) like toys? At age 6, I loved junk food and toys too. So from 6 to 34 I can't even begin to count how many Happy Meals Toys have passed my hands. Guess what? I'm not a huge fat waste of life like the government implies. I'm actually rather skinny, I just have shitty cholesterol but who doesn't. So apparently with moderation and proper parenting, people DO succeed. I know, it's weird but it's true. I have a daughter, who's 13, and she has had her share of toys and greasy burgers too. But again, some proper parenting and supervision, and I have a skinny kid. And my kid ends up with a new toy to play with for a few hours before she leaves it somewhere for me to step on at 4 AM when I have to pee and I am walking blindly down the hall.
One of these days, we all hope, maybe politicians and others will give some of this "parental discretion" back to us. Of course, a lot of parents need to start earning it back. A lot of parents just don't give a fuck and that's really depressing. But not everyone should suffer for the morons out there who can't properly raise a child. How far have we sunk as a country to where we're actually thinking that a 50 cent toy is ruining everything. When they ban these toys and people continue to get fatter and fatter, what's next? No toys in cereal boxes? No stick of stale ass gum in a pack of collector cards?
As for McDonalds, I say keep making your little toys. If their little toy is "affecting" kids so much, maybe it's time we start looking at the deeper problems such as poor parenting or an interfering government or even a depressed child that just eats the sadness away and wants a shiny new something to fiddle with while doing so. So just leave McD's alone about the toy. But hey, why should be even remotely surprised? I mean if we can blame them for not making an official world wide message that coffee gets hot, then why not throw the label of "Evil Toy Predator" upon them too. I never thought one day that I'd be saying to my child, "You know honey, there was a time when you got a toy with your meal and it was great!"
Ya know, I'm starting to think the whole article I read was a plant by McDonalds to get me angry enough to blog about it. Because suddenly I'm in the mood for a Big Mac...
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